First Attempt to Conceive for 2017

I have been meeting Dr. Petterson of Fertility Fundamentals for 8 months now. Nothing has changed since then. I have been under Clomid for 3 cycles and moved to Letrozole last cycle. Since nothing has changed in my cervical mucus she upped my dose to 9 tablets on Day 2 and 3. (Speaking of which I am meant to take it now.) I am hoping that this time will be the time for us. I have endometriosis, PCOS, retroverted uterus, and a little below my ideal BMI. My doctor prescribed me to take Metformin and Low Dose Netrozole to help me with PCOS and endometriosis, respectively. 

I have made a lot of preparation for this cycle. I regularly did a light 30min yoga for almost a month. Took the following to hopefully help me have healthy eggs:

• Healthy Care Propolis since 2016
• Nature's Own Zinc, B6, Magnesium 2tabs/day and upped it to 4tabs/day this cycle
• Blackmores Fish Oil - 2caps/day
• Priceline's Methyl Folate for my MTHFR since 2016
• EPO since Day 1
• Kale soup everyday
• Goji berry tea 

Today is may Day 2 and I can see the changes in my blood flow. It was not like last cycle's. Last month my period was light and dark brown to black in colour. I know it was not healthy so I decided to move my body more because in TCM, black blood is a sign of blood stagnation. It worked! This cycle it is bright red with little clots. I didn't have bad cramping although I felt tolerable pain here and there due to my endometriosis. I guess it is good to mention that the week leading to my Day 1 I put hot pad in my lower abdomen and soak my feet in hot water whenever I have a chance to keep my body warm. From TCM again, cold tummy, feet and hands are signs of blood stagnation and cold uterus. Despite having 35C temperature at times in this very dry summer weather I still warm up my tummy.

Here we are on Day 2! Hopefully with all the preparations and fervent prayers all things will work out great!

Hello There!

How many blog attempts have I made? 2? 3? I don't know! I think this is already my fifth! Yup. That's right. My fifth. One word - L.A.Z.Y. Haha!

What brought me back to blogosphere? I just thought I need a place to express everything I am thinking and feeling. Not that my husband is not someone who's able to give me that. I am happy that he is good at listening, sometimes. 

Let me introduce myself first. I am married for more than nine years now and still without a child. We've been actively trying ever since we got married but nadah! Well that's life. No matter how much I want to control everything. I can't. No one can. We've moved to Australia from the Philippines last winter of 2014. Life here has been bitter sweet. We love our new home but we still miss our home country. So, we try to enjoy where we are as much as we can.

Hope you'll join me as I document my journey towards a more fulfilling life!

A Year of Hope

The husband and I moved here in Adelaide, South Australia (after much prodding and convincing) last July 28, 2014. We have faced challenges that tested our character, faith and our belief in ourselves.

It has been a year since I had my second miscarriage. This time it was physically, emotionally and spiritually painful. The time I found out I was pregnant at 11 weeks was the time I found out I miscarried. No big deal - said no one who have been wanting to have a child for more than 8 years! The doctor said it is about 25 - 30% of pregnancies miscarry and there is no way to prevent it.

It has been a year and yes, I still feel sad. There are days when I blame myself and wished I have done things differently. There are days when I think about how my baby would look like had he not gone sooner than we've come to known him. There are days when I doubt the grace of God to heal me from the pain.

It has been a year and yes, I go on. I go on and not move on. There is no moving on on losing a love one. There is no moving on in grief. I go on. I go on to enjoy the beauty of each day brings. I go on to love my husband who, not only gives me what I need, does everything to make me happy. I go on to be grateful with God for showing me that He is faithful through the kindness and charity of friends and strangers. I go on because I know with each pain comes great blessings.

Succu Love

I love growing plants. Period. No matter where I live I end up finding myself caring for a potted plant. When my husband and I were in Singapore and we bought plants to care such as mint, parsley, bonsai and another flowering plant (which I forgot). So, when we moved here in Australia, it was natural for us to have some live greens in the house. My current obsession - succulents.

The only succulent I've know is the Philippine Kalanchoe (or Katakataka) but, it was through Pinterest where I found some beautiful varieties of succulents and cactus. They are really gorgeous specially when they are crammed up together in one container or pot. I just love them!

Here's my second attempt at creating a potted garden. And... it doesn't look as I expected it to be. O well, I will try next time. I believe in practice makes perfect. In this pot it has echeveria black prince, gaptoveria pink, jelly bean, sedum voodoo and two unidentified beings. 

I don't know if it is just me or what. I find myself spending more and more time with my plants! I always check if their leaves are ok. There is always a question: are they growing as they should? Is the soil dry enough? Should I water them? Or, not? Should I replant? What are these on the leaves? Is it normal?

My husband even joked about it. "I envy the plant because you are with them more than me." Sorry, beb, will be with you in a minute, only if we are able to get that echeveria subsessilis this Saturday. But, we all know it is far from truth. Haha!

How about you? What's your current obsession? 

Hello There, 2016!

I know I have been away for more than two years and in those two years a lot of things happened. I may have to share them in several posts.

2015 brought the most painful experience I have felt in my existence but, it gave great joy that's enough for me to say that the past year was still a wonderful year. I can't be more than thankful. 

For this year, I don't have resolutions but only plans to continue to act on fulfilling our dreams. There are new adventures to take, places to travel and passions to explore. So, cheers to 2016!

Most Beautiful Woman (In Husband's Eyes, At Least)

I saw this video featured in ANC. It made me blush and smitten! Here's a guy who was in a daze after a surgery and was not able to recognize his wife. Watch what he said:

Isn't this the sweetest?! The last part was funny. He asked his wife to turn around. Haha! Looking for that booty?!

I remember one of the silly conversations, via sms, that hubby and I had. Here it is.

Gaah! Who wouldn't get a swollen head even for a minute with this? *kilig*

This Moved Me To Tears

Who wouldn't be move by this? The innocence of the young boy, the genuine love of the Pope and the happiness of the father for his son. Ohh... tissue.

Teejay Ukay-Ukay

It had been a very long time since I last visited an ukay-ukay store. I guess that was a decade ago in Baguio. I don't like the idea of buying second hand clothes. Plus scouring through tons of items in a hot dusty and dirty place.

Last Tuesday I went to Robinson's Mall in Imus and decided to check on Teejay's Ukay-ukay store out of curiosity. Lo, and behold I got so excited to see a lot of not-your-usual dresses, jackets and pants. I came out with four items on hand and promised myself that I would check out the store again or look out for other ukay stores in Cubao or Quezon City.

Anyway, here are what I bought so far. All tops cost 125 each, while the jacket at 250. I was able to haggle but only got 60 pesos discount on the total. I think it is still a bit expensive since some stores give 60-100 for tops.

I had them washed in hot water to kill the bacteria and remove the germs.

My next mission is to score a designer dress, bags and a cool pair of boots.

Taking The First Steps

Since I was a kid DIY paper dolls and dressing them up have been my favorite play time. Together with my sisters and cousins we would cut cardboards and papers to create our own dolls. Dressing them in our own definition of fashion and style. We would then line them up as just like in a beauty pageant. 

In my elementary years I moved from paper dolls to paintings, sketching and crafts. Homeworks have never been a problem to me when it involved arts and the hands.

As years went on and priorities have changed, I realized that I have lost my talent in the arts. I lost my confidence in that field and left my right side of the brain stagnant.

Then, decades and decades after, here I am. In a place I am so excited about! In my mid-30s I am a student again. An enrollee of Fashion Institute of The Philippines - Makati. I am taking up all the Basic Courses and intend to finish up to graduation day. The graduation will have you showcasing your collection in a fashion show. Woah! Exciting and scary!

Basic Pattern Making

My Basic Pattern Making Classmates and Instructor - Oz Go (brother of Rachel Ann Go!)

I can say that the teachers are competent and are very good in their own right. I appreciate the style of teaching where you do more hands-on than theory. 

My only concern is that one room is shared with several classes. It can go up to four classes which sometimes becomes a bit noisy. Add to that the forever playing of Anything Could Happen song by Ellie Goulding. But, I guess it's just a way to lighten up the class.

This is totally new to me. I hope to endure this and succeed in this path.

Wish me luck!!

The USANA Experience

I am a food-supplementhorse, if ever there's a term. I am always on the look out on different food supplements or multivitamins. From local herbal products to imported and more expensive ones, I have taken them. I have also tried synthetic and natural supplements. Finally, after the countless Mercury Drugs, Guardian and Watson's visit I have found the food supplements that suit me well and my hubby.

The different processes our food have to undergo before it reaches our tables have considerably reduced its natural nutrients. Not to mention the fast-paced life that we normally are in, we tend to take food that are also fast and easy to eat or worse skipping a meal. These have caused us not to get the vitamins and minerals that we actually need. Food or dietary supplements play a major role to augment this. USANA, I believe is able to provide this and more.

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USANA Health Sciences provides US-FDA approved and GMP certified food supplements and skin-friendly beauty products. After taking it for a month I have felt the difference compared to the other products I have tried. I took the Essentials, this is a pair of bottles of Mega-antioxidant and Multi-vitamins; Proflavanol C-100, pure quality grape seed extract; BiOmega, high-quality pure fish oil, CoQuinone, a CoQ10 optimizer for the cardiovascular system and Nutrimeal, a food replacement for weight management.

I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy the following improvements in my health:

1. The one thing that elated me most is that I gained 1kg! After five years this the only time I was able to gain a kilo! This, after taking two packs of Nutrimeal. I took this after meal. The taste is good and loved the strawberry flavor more than the chocolate.

2. Miraculously I didn't experience any dysmenorrhea which I always suffer when the red flag is on.

3. No migraine at all. If ever there's a day, it's more of a light headedness that goes away after a few hours.

4. I used to experience sudden, fast and painful heart beat. I guess this comes with the hormones but, while taking USANA I don't think I've had it since.

5. Hubby and I were able to sleep well and wake up refreshed. Although, on our first week of taking it we can't seem to sleep right away and our minds are so awake but, on the second week, sleeping never felt this good.

6. I got lesser pimples during my PMS days.

7. No more heavy feeling on the chest for hubby.

8. He felt more energized. We actually made a test. He didn't take USANA for a day and replaced it with Blackmores multi-vitamins and he felt the difference. He felt more tired that day with Blackmores.

9. We hadn't had any colds even though we sometimes get rained out.

10. Then recently, hubby suffered from dengue. I made sure that he's able to take USANA on the dot and religiously. After 5 days his dengue is gone. The lowest platelet count he got was 167 and this just happened once. Platelet count on a healthy person is above 200. By the way, when you're suspicious that someone has dengue never give him/her Ibuprofen just Paracetamol. Ibuprofen may cause bleeding faster which dengue patients are prone.

We are happy with our new partner in health and we hope that you would be able to try it, too.


*Please consult your physician before taking any supplements specially when you are pregnant.

Where Have I Been?!

Well, I honestly don't know. For a time I kind of wanted to be on my own. Well, not that I haven't been alone in the house while hubby is out to work. I felt that I want to keep things for myself for a while. Well, I guess, humans are really social beings so I am back here in the world wide web to connect not just with you, but, also with myself. Writing has been a way for me to talk to me. I, also, think that blogging makes you want to be intentional in being happy so that you can write wonderful memories which you would go back to when you don't feel like going out of your bed.

Anyways, these are the things that happened (which I currently remember) to me while I'm on hiatus.

1. I have become a grandmother! From my niece of course! Who would have thought at my age!

2. I.AM.A.CANDY.CRUSH.ADDICT and I need help! Gosh! I can't get over this game. This is by far the longest online game I have been into.  

3. I gained 1.7kg for the first time for the past 5 years! That for me is an achievement. 

4. Hubby and I had a three-week vacation back home which extended to four due to dengue.

5. The husband overcame dengue in just 5 days. Thank God!

6. I discovered a great supplement which helped me in #3 and #5, USANA. An amazing FDA and pharmaceutical food supplement that has better absorption and efficacy than others.

7. Hubby and I had setbacks that strengthened our faith to each other and to God's wonderful plans.

8. Our Australian Permanent Resident visa application is currently being processed by the immigration department. Hoping all things will go well.

9. My parents and sister joined me here in Singapore for 11 days! It was pure fun!

10. Hubby and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary without so much funfare. Just dinner and some blings for me. 

How about you? Did you ever felt the need to take a break from blogging?

The Continuous Search for Falling Hair Refief

Have you had those after bath moments when you see your floor sink full of hair clumping together? Eekky, isn't it?! 

Falling hair can be worrisome for both women and men. Losing 50 to 120 hairs a day is normal but once you can see your scalp through your hair then that's the time when it gets to be a concern.

Hubby and I have this problem which started to be a concern last year. By just running his hand through his hair we can see several strands on his fingers. After every bath I would see lots of hair on the sink and while combing my hair. I believe stress is the main culprit for hubby and for me, PCOS.

So we've tried several ways to alleviate this problem. From diet by reducing chilli and eating lots of high in omega 3 fatty acids foods. To putting VCO with Rosemary leaves to our scalps and even hair grower treatment like NovuHair.

This is the one endorsed by Fanny Serrano and have testimonials that it did not only reduce falling hair but helped hair regrowth. It has natural ingredients such as ginseng, rosemary, lavender, peppermint, lemongrass and others. The caveat is, it has different types of parabens and polysorbate which were said to cause or aggravate cancer especially breast tumors. These are also linked to affect the sperm negatively and hormonal abnormalities in men.

So, we stopped using it. We then resorted to shampoos.

Ilog Maria Honey Propolis Shampoo

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It has all the natural ingredients of honey and propolis grown in Ilog Maria's own farm. It doesn't give a rich lather but you can feel how clean your hair is after rinsing with it. The aromatherapy essential oils leave a cool minty sensation on your scalp. Taking a bath has never been this delightful with Ilog Maria shampoo. Sadly, it didn't help our problem. I still get a lot of hair fall.

Human Heart Nature Strengthening Shampoo

This pearly white shampoo is an all natural product that boasts with zero SLS and SLES that can be toxic to our bodies. It is sweet smelling and gives just a small amount of lather. It is best to follow it with a conditioner otherwise you'll end-up with a stiff and rough hair. While others have all praises for this product this didn't prevent our thinning hair and caused some dandruff here and there. I guess this doesn't suit my scalp.

Now, I am going to try this: Snoe Hair Heroes Damage Recovery Cream Shampoo

My friend had me try this when we were in South Korea. And, with just three days of trying I noticed that it minimized my hair fall. It didn't give a rich lather, which is natural for products without SLS and SLES.

I chance upon SNOE kiosk at Festival Mall in Alabang and bought myself Recovery Cream Shampoo (P399.00/bot at 250ml) and Intense Argan Oil (P499/bot at 250ml). Intense Argan is a five-in-one conditioner that can be used a cleansing conditioner, conditioner, deep treatment mask, de-tangler, leave-on treatment and Hero Sulfates. I just have to check if this will totally stop the hair loss and won't cause any dandruff or itching.

With a hefty price compared to a regular shampoo, I hope this is all worth it and would end my search for that effective falling hair treatment.

Have you tried this product? What can you say?

Hongik Area: Trick Eye Museum

When I said I'd go back to South Korea I never thought I'd go back so soon. I am just so glad my husband is so kind that he allowed me to go to Korea with my two girlfriends, my ex-roommates. It wasn't all the places I have been to last time. I had also my firsts at my second affair with South Korea! 

My friends booked us 8 days of trip. We spent 5 days in Seoul and the rest in Jeju Island. Yup! Jeju!! Which I'll be sharing later.

We spent a whole day in Hongik area. First stop is The Trick Eye Museum. This is just near the exit 9 of Hongdae Station. The place is not along the main road so you really have to keep your eye on the small signage of the museum.

The Trick Eye (or Art) Museum is a gallery of paintings that uses trompe l'oeil technique which creates illusion in flat surfaces. This allows an interactive experience with the characters and the visitors. Everybody would surely enjoy this place no matter how little art inclinations you have. The paintings are changed every few months.

The small English sign of the museum.

 

We really enjoyed this place and consumed a lot of space in our SD cards. It brought out the playful and silly side of us!

 

Japanese Book

Hubby and I often would check out bookstores even without any agenda to buy a book or supplies. We just include it as part of our route whenever we visit a mall.

Something new caught my attention when we dropped by Kinokuniya. I thought these are just your ordinary books:

But, once you look closer you'll see that inside are bags with a picture of what you're to expect.

And, this is what I bought:

Look what's inside!

I got an agnes b. tote bag (made of flour sack?). At a price of S$36, uhmmm... I don't think it is worth it. The fabric is soft and the size is a bit small for me. Then again, this is agnes b. so we're paying for the brand.

How Do You Grieve?

Or, do you grieve for someone else's loss? Is it even a question?

I am beset with sadness I cannot fathom and yet I can't shed a tear. The choking of my throat is enough to tell that my body is aching, emotionally.

My bestfriend lost her barely three-month old son. My godchild. I haven't seen him yet since we're miles apart. I was an absentee sponsor during his baptism. Nevertheless, I felt I was there as my friends and the mommy shared the wonderful day of welcoming their first born to the christian world.

When it was time for her to leave for her overseas job I felt her pain of being away from her son. Ahh, the essence of her being a woman has finally been revealed. She is in-love! Love, that only a mother can understand.

Then, last night barely two hours from receiving a news from a common friend that her baby is critical to getting an sms from my bestfriend, I lost my godchild a few hours ago. That, killed me. Instantly.

So many thoughts suddenly ran through my mind. I tried to call her but she begged off. I don't know what to reply to her. I cannot say "be strong" when I know that strength has lost her at that moment. I cannot say "everything will be ok, soon" when things for her might be a dreadful nightmare. I cannot even say "just trust in God and pray" when I can feel that sprititualizing the situation is not what she needs.

All I can say is that I am here. Her friends are here. I feel like flying back where she is just to embrace her. And, that I love her.

She don't want other people to know. She is shutting out. She wanted to process things by herself. All I can do is support her on her way of coping with the tragedy. Yes, pray for her and her family.

My mind is still clouded. It's so unreal. This isn't happening. Why would an innocent child have to die? Why does he have to go so soon? Why does it have to happen to someone close to me.

My bestfriend is in pain. Its hurting me so much that I can't do anything. I am grieving. Grieving for losing my godchild, for the loss of the mother and for my bestfriend's partly-death.

Help Anna

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I was doing a research yesterday when I came across this intriguing sidebar link, Help Anna. It is about the different Anna who is a victim of violence and trafficking.

Anna, 8 years old, a tsunami survivor in Aceh, Indonesia, was abducted and forced to labor by a criminal syndicate.

Anna, 26 years old, a domestic helper Filipina who was physically and verbally abused by her employer. She is also once been deprived of food for a simple mistake committed.

Anna, 26 years old, Columbian who escaped with her children from her abusive husband, was kidnapped, trafficked to Asia and was forced into sex slavery.

Anna, 35 years old, a former successful stewardess, who suffered physical, emotional and verbal abuse from her husband when Anna caught him having an affair.

I don't know the exact statistics on the violence against women all over the world or even in the Philippines. I guess I'll have to leave that to the experts. I have witnessed and experienced myself different forms of abuse. They can happen everywhere and to anybody. In the office, at the street and even to the place we call home. The common way of violence is by being beaten almost to death and lashed out with words which make a person reduced to being an animal. It can also be in a very subtle way where bullying is done or a person can be the center of all jokes. It is mostly done by men but sadly women can also be perpetrators. Social media and networking sites are the easiest venue for bullying since some people can bash and troll by just using their fingertips and an anonymous usernames.

November 25 is the International Day to End Violence Against Women and on that same day The National Committee for UNIFEM, Singapore will unveil Anna's future. 

Let us support the End of Violence to Women. Join UNIFEM, Singapore on November 25 at Angel Canopy, Clarke Quay from 12nn to 9pm.

The Miracle Boy

My in-laws stayed with us for nine days for a vacation, hubby's parents and his three siblings. While these past days it has been hot with some overcast clouds the week they were here the weather was just crazy. There were times it was raining hard with thunderstorms! Luckily, the day they were in Universal Studios it was just cloudy and it didn't rain at all.

They are a family that exudes happiness and joy! I am proud to say that my in-laws are a family of only trying to be a blessing to others. They would try not to do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. They are even very expressive on their endearments with each other. There are lots of hugs and kisses whenever they are together. Specially if it's towards the youngest. 

The youngest has been dubbed as the miracle boy. You wouldn't believe that once he stayed in the hospital for two months with one month in a coma in the ICU. He contracted dengue but when the day he was supposed to check out from the hospital that's when he suffered from a deadly virus causing him to be in coma. 

For days and weeks he was in ICU every second counts and every cent is valuable. Almost every minute or hour his vital signs are being checked. Every two hours or so he had to take strong antibiotics costing between 1.5k to 3k. Fresh blood were also transfused to ensure his platelets are in normal levels. 

I once went inside the ICU with MIL and I couldn't bear it. I was crying the whole time because he was so thin and has to be in life-support. I went out even before the time to visit was up and never dared to go inside again. All I can do was pray for him and the rest of the family.

He was finally sent home after two months and a sky-rocket hospital bill. His left brain was affected due to comatose but after several therapies all that is left now is his deep voice, he used to sing beautifully, his hands without full control and his balance.

All through that phase in their lives, the family never gave up. When the doctors would give a bad news everybody would take it as it is, take the best option and would eventually leave everything to God to work on. No one showed any sign of weakness. A hug from each other was enough to say that 'we will all get through this'. And it did! God worked in ways none of us where able to comprehend. He sent a message through a fellow boy, who was also in the hospital at that time, that hubby's youngest brother would wake up soon. We held on to that. Knowing in all things God is at work. Strangers and friends would visit and pray over him. Monetary help came in without them even asking. It brought closer and tighter relationship within the family. They are able to say I love yous without cringing which some would often take for granted.

He is indeed a miracle boy for me. Now, at 19, he is living his life. He has more friends than ever. He sings louder than he should. He dances even without music because he is happy. Whenever I see him, he reminds me with one passage in the bible, 'with God all things are possible - Mat 19:25-27'. That no matter how bad things may seem everything will come out good in the end. If it is not good then it is not yet the end. God is forever faithful to His promise that He has plans for us. Plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future - Jer 29:11.

Instagram Mode

Finally, Instagram is now available for android! I was so glad it did because I am still able to blog real-time while I'm out and about the city with my in-laws. My in-laws are here for a vacation for 10 days so, naturally, hubby and I are the official tour guides and photographers which means no time for me to blog or even do some blog hopping.

Instagram has been my temporary recluse to document where and what have been catching my fancy while my feet are aching to death walking around Singapore. So if you are on it, follow me @viperbuzz12 or here and we can have a good share of our lives through pictures.

I am still trying to get the hang of this new photo app. Oh, how I envy those stunning posts and some with water mark. Some have bokeh effect and some have even that depth of field. Wish someday I can also do those amazing shots.

Here are some of mine. Please bear with me.  :-)